Look. I don’t have a lot of time. Its busy season. Which means essentially, I’m really busy.
There is a lot going on all at once. Canada, Morocco, business, taxes, immigration, language class, gym, quick- relax. There is business to manage, business to close, business to market. Run to. Run fro.
Seriously. I’m trying really hard to hold it together today but I woke up to an alarm, out of a really deep sleep stage. So here I am trying so hard to push this beast forward and I don’t quite have the spark in lfouq (upstairs) to do much in this moment. So I’m having a nice cup of coffee and sharing a recent experience.
I was never really exposed to the yoga culture and whole energy of the Universe thing. I mean yah, I get it, there are forces out there and there is a lot offered by Eastern medicine. Breathe. Get bendy. Breathe some more. But I full on eat meat and that is not going to change. And let’s face it, for sooooo many years I was stuck in a cubicle. Trudging uphill to make ends meet. Being a good corporate employee. Rat meet race, that sort of thing. So the whole yoga movement has sort of skidded past me with only a quiet OHM and a modicum of notice. Until recently, I sort of thought this was a good representation of what happened. (** Trust me – you want to click that link.)
So here I am in Marrakech and it is truly a land of yogi’s. Yogi’s left. Yogi’s right. If you can’t find a yoga retreat to here, then you are the problem. It’s all about the bendy, breathy, vegan love and Universe here. Really.
I heard about this really nice girl awhile ago. Let’s call her Jade for anonymity. (Full disclosure; that’s her real name.) She opened a yoga studio exactly half a cigarette from my house. (Back in the 25 years when I was a smoker, I would measure walking distance by how many cigarettes I could smoke on the way there.)
How could I not at least pop in and check it out. So I did. And I really love it there. Its a lovely, quiet, clean, totally chill little space. I even tried to be a monthly member one time. I REALLY tried. But it didn’t work out. So when I returned from vacation I made it my business to go there more often.
And this is what happened there: I got my chakras shook. I totally did. It was CRAZY.
Here’s how it went. I went to an evening class called REI. This is a class that was put together by a really cool yogi (G from now on). G is also a reiki master. Ever since I saw some early-adopting naturopath in Banff, back in the 90’s, who announced that my solar plexus was completely out of whack, I’ve been mildly fascinated with reiki but have never had any experience with this energy manipulating magic.
Here I am lying on the floor in the dark one night last week. The first part of the class was movement. For me, that was a total bust. Why? Its about 100 degrees outside at the mo’ and when I put my face/chest (read: furnace) face down, I generate enough heat to melt glass. So I was a little sweaty. Doing a downward dog became a danger to myself and everyone else as the yoga mat became a slip n slide. (I really am a long way from embracing the practice.)
The second part of the class was more my speed because all I had to was lie there and breath. I was GOOD at that. “8 breaths in” says G. “breath out through your nose.” I was lying there with ALL these thoughts. My mind was a buzz. I was thinking things like this:
Breath in good health and love. Breath out breast cancer.
Breath in good times with family. Breath out illness.
Breath in strength and healing. Breath out surgery.
Breath in calm, peace, and love. Breath out narcissists.
It was going really well. I sensed (because I opened my eyes and peeked) that G was moving amongst all the people performing a little Reiki with each. Because that was advertised. So ,cool. Reiki, in case you don’t know, (and why would you?) is a no touch transfer of energy from hands to body. But no touching. Its like magic.
All of a sudden, my thoughts shifted. Like – BAM. I had very, very clear images of me as a child. In my bedroom at my family home. At my cousins cottage. At the beach, same cottage. In my backyard with my dad watching. In the living room with the family, everyone relaxing. CLEAR images. I was awash in “I am safe. I’ve never been harmed. I had a safe and happy childhood.” Weird right? It was very clear and very loud. And very not something I have felt or thought about in YEARS. Weird really, and SO loud in my head.
So as I’m leaving the studio I said to the reiki master: “What was that all about? What were you doing there?”
G: “I was just working with whatever energy each person presented.”
Me: “Oh? What energy was I giving off?” G: “Well, you don’t open up very easily but your solar plexus was pretty strong, which represents a strong sense of home. It was like there was a person watching over you and keeping you safe.”
CHILLS. DOWN. MY. SPINE.
Then – Part II. I returned on Sunday for a workshop. I’m always down for a learning experience and here’s my chance to learn more about chakras. Perfect! I’m in. I arrive. The workshop proceeds. Magic G at the helm. Some really lovely souls in the room. It was nice. Really nice.
Then comes an exercise. “Ok. Lie on your back and breath.” OH GOODIE. My favorite!
“Now think of a memory from your childhood. Breath. Focus on that. What emotions would you attach to this memory? Focus on the memory and those emotions.”
You guys. I cracked up. I started to laugh. I was lying on my back in a completely silent and dark room, trying my very best NOT to laugh. I know Lynne and Tricia are reading this ……. and they KNOW. I can’t stop laughing once I’ve started. NOT a thing I do well.
I had tears. I realized I was on my back and you can’t stop laughing on your back. So I sat up. I wasn’t supposed to, but honestly. I was so embarrassed because I didn’t want to ruin the experience for the others in this quiet, reflective moment. But honestly. Tears. I HAD TO TAKE A BREATH. It was awful. Like laughing at a funeral awful.
Then the de-brief. “So,” says G, “what was the emotion that came up for you?” I said, “Well, um, obviously, humour.”
“That,” he says like some magic truthsayer, “is the energy you put out to the world.”
SHUT THE HELL UP! Because it’s true. I’m funny as shit. Patricia told me so. And I do put humour out there. It’s my Super Power. I have no stronger power than humour.
But here is the really weird bit. Because chakras are all about balance. So for each energy centre, you go too far in one direction or too far in the other direction. Its all about finding the balance. The middle ground. So we discussed it for a second. What is the opposite of humour? Yup…….grief. Grief has been a dominant force in my life, for my entire life. And I have just spent a lot of time and effort over the past year trying to shake that off. To move past the grief. To no longer be defined by it.
Guess what???? All the hard work paid off! YES!